Feb 22 2024

I think I understand the metaphysics of relationships and sex as well as I'll ever need to. Now I pray for my energy and memory to return to what it needs to be and I will be set. 

I understand how parasitic sex is now and how it sexual attraction truly is on a spectrum. I do not remember reading something by BAP I thought was wrong. Sex is completely about power. Submission is pleasure! Domination is pleasure! Obviously one is much more noble.

Every day I understand and respect black people more. They really do have something more of a bronze age mindset than almost all white people. Living in the moment.

I see how stupid and autistic Isa can be which confirms to me how much metabolism must influence general wellbeing. She eats like shit.

I don't think anything has really changed since I started having sex. I am paranoid she doesn't really have an IUD although she is probably one of greatest friends.

Caro is driving me crazy. She is crazy. We are talking again now. No woman should be worth obsessing over. You need to be able to walk away at anytime. I could be wrong about this. I want the bronze age mindset! Freedom!

I think my health really is getting better. When I started taking T3 it felt insane wanting to eat that much. My sweat smellled reallly bad like the first week. Then I stopped feeling the effects somewhat. I feel like I was drinking too much milk. I think I have insulin resistance. Trying to max out on sugar but worried about cavities. 

Prof Kirks is good at hand gestures but he overuses them. There is something uncanny about him. The way he transitions between ideas and interacts with the class makes me unable to trust him.

I do think that metabolic health highly influences the type of people we are able to enjoyably interact with. Tegan and I are on a very similar wavelength which makes me worried for myself.

Since moving back to boston i've had stressful dreams often at night. Maybe oversupplementing something. No clue how my magnesium is doing tbh.

I think taking erythromycin was somewhat of a mistake. I can't digest milk so well now! And my poops are less clumpy.

Everyone around me here is retarted. I discovered most of my friends are catholic. I argued with mom the other week about trump. I think the Ukraine issue prevents her from seeing clearly. I wish I had a stronger father.

Being powerful and beautiful and health and carefree are basically my only goals now.